Children aren’t born knowing how to regulate their emotions. They first borrow calm from the adults around them. Co-regulation means we lend our steady presence through voice, pacing, body language, and responsiveness until children learn to do it for themselves.
A parent slows their breathing while sitting beside an anxious child.
A teacher waits silently, offering a reassuring smile instead of rushing in with instructions.
A therapist mirrors a child’s rhythm in play, then gently introduces small shifts to model flexibility.
These moments signal: “You are safe. We can manage this together.”
Builds Safety — Children sense when adults are calm, and borrow that steadiness.
Encourages Reflection — Instead of reacting impulsively, they learn to pause and process.
Supports Social Growth — Emotional attunement paves the way for empathy and perspective-taking.
Lays the Foundation for Self-Regulation — Over time, children internalize the skills modeled by adults.
In RDI®, co-regulation is not about controlling a child’s emotions, but about guiding. We create space for children to experience their feelings while helping them discover ways to regain balance. A crucial step for long-term emotional and social growth.
Want more guidance on building co-regulation into everyday life? Download our free ebook, Supporting Neurodivergent Children with Confidence. Explore how RDI® equips you to nurture emotional regulation in children through our free RDI® Made Simple course.
Contributed by
Genevieve Chua
Educational Psychologist and RDI® Training Director (Southeast Asia and Australia)
Children's Partnership