Spotlights and Competence Building

Many children, especially those with developmental challenges are hyper-aware of failure. Traditional praise (“good job!”) often reinforces performance pressure rather than resilience.

Spotlighting shifts the focus: instead of evaluating, we shine a light on the process: the effort, persistence, or creative approach  so children learn that competence comes from trying, adapting, and growing.

What Spotlighting Looks Like

• Instead of: “Great, you finished the puzzle.”

• Try: “I noticed you kept trying different pieces until one fit, that took persistence.”
  
  

• Instead of: “Good boy for helping.”

• Try: “When you handed your brother the toy, he smiled, you helped him feel included.”
  
  

Spotlighting is descriptive, specific, and emphasises the child’s role in their own success.

Principles of Competence Building

1. Notice Effort Over Outcome — Highlight perseverance, curiosity, and problem-solving.

2. Be Descriptive, Not Judgemental — Share observations instead of giving ratings or labels.

3. Connect to Emotions — Link effort to feelings of pride, joy, or connection.

4. Make Success Relational — Show how their actions impact others, not just tasks.
   
   

An RDI® Lens

In RDI®, spotlighting is more than praise. It’s a deliberate tool for helping children internalise the sense: “I am capable. I can try. I can grow.” Over time, this builds resilience, self-worth, and motivation to take on bigger challenges.

Ready to bring spotlighting into your daily life? Our free ebook, Supporting Neurodivergent Children with Confidence, gives you practical ideas to get started.
 

For professionals, learn how competence-building is woven into the RDI® framework through our RDI® Professional Training.

Contributed by

Genevieve Chua

Educational Psychologist and RDI® Training Director (Southeast Asia and Australia)

Children's Partnership