Waiting and Pausing

Waiting & Pausing: Giving Children Space to Think and Grow

In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to jump in and give answers, correct mistakes, or push children to act. But for children, especially those with developmental differences, constant prompts can block thinking and reduce opportunities to problem-solve independently.

Waiting and pausing allows:

• Processing time: Children can understand what’s happening, consider options, and plan their response.

• Reflection: Pausing encourages self-awareness and helps children notice their emotions, thoughts, and reactions.

• Dynamic thinking: By resisting the urge to immediately intervene, we give children a chance to practice adapting, adjusting, and exploring solutions.

How to Pause Effectively

1. Observe first: Before stepping in, watch your child’s actions and expressions. They may be trying to figure things out on their own.

2. Stay calm: Maintain a neutral or encouraging presence. Your patience signals that it’s safe to take their time.

3. Use declarative/experience sharing communication: Describe what’s happening instead of giving direct instructions. For example:
   “I see the puzzle pieces are scattered on the table.”
   instead of
   “Put the pieces in order now.”

4. Give space, not silence: Waiting doesn’t mean ignoring. Offer gentle gestures, eye contact, or supportive comments, but avoid taking over.

5. Set small timers if helpful: For younger children or those who struggle with patience, using a visual cue like a sand timer can help them understand the expectation for thinking time.
   
   

Practical Examples

• Problem-solving tasks: Instead of immediately helping when your child struggles with a puzzle, pause, observe, and comment on their actions. Let them attempt, make mistakes, and try again.

• Transitions: When moving from playtime to homework, pause instead of rushing. Allow the child to finish their thought or activity, then guide gently.

• Emotional regulation: If a child becomes upset, pause before stepping in. Allow them to feel the emotion while staying present, then co-regulate through verbal cues or gentle support.
  
  

Key Takeaways

• Pausing is a form of support, not neglect.

• It builds independence, reflection, and dynamic thinking.

• Even short pauses during daily routines can have a big impact on emotional and cognitive development.
  
  

Practical RDI Tips: Waiting & Pausing

• Start with 2–3 second pauses after asking a question or giving an instruction, then gradually increase.

• Use gestures or facial expressions to show you’re present while letting your child think.

• Observe the child’s problem-solving attempts before stepping in — every effort is a learning opportunity.

• Celebrate attempts, not just outcomes, to reinforce effort and competence.
  
  

Want to learn more ways to apply RDI® principles in daily life or professional practice? Explore our free ebook: Supporting Neurodivergent Children with Confidence, or join our free RDI® Made Simple course. 

Contributed by

Genevieve Chua

Educational Psychologist and RDI® Training Director (Southeast Asia and Australia)

Children's Partnership